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Location: Viljandi, Estonia

Monday, January 08, 2007

I want *girl* music

Last night we drove back from my folks' place, taking the Southern State Parkway back into Queens. Along the way I tried to listen to some CDs I borrowed from the library, including The Queen is Dead by The Smiths. But Marta wouldn't have any of it. She wanted "girl music" - yelling at me whenever a male voice would escape from my speakers. I tried to convince her that Morrissey, the flamboyant lead singer of the Smiths was actually a girl, but his voice was deep enough to not be "girl music."

Desperately, I found The New Pornographers' album Twin Cinema which features, as you can see in the photo of the band, one female singer named Neko Case. Neko only sang on four or so songs on the record so I had to keep revisiting the same songs over and over again so that Marta could inhabit her realm of femininity on the drive home.

Marta has been getting into the female world of barbies and princesses and things of that nature. I am not sure what I should think about it. I don't want my daughter to take home the simplistic messages of material barbie culture: ie: starve yourself to be thin, base your self-esteem on your appearance, and always be on the look out for a prince. But I also want her to have fun, and what's wrong with a little girl in a nice dress playing in her princess castle? Nothing. There is nothing wrong with that.

I am painfully aware what a huge role I will play in Marta's life and with her relationships with other men. Every woman I have met is defined in some ways by her relationship with her father, perhaps more so than with her mother. I've known women with no fathers, women with absentee fathers, women with brooding fathers, women with tough guy fathers, women with alcoholic fathers ... and it's not unusual that they wind up with these archtypes later in life.

Some other Dads I have met with sons say that they are glad they don't have daughters. But I am very happy with a daughter. All the little boys I know are miniature action heroes - launching themselves off of swingsets and taking things apart. But the girls, they play a bit more quietly, and even if they're bratty, they're sweet too.

Now that we are expecting numero due, I wonder will it be a little Anna or a little Caetano. If it's the first option then I will be living in a house full of princesses. If it's the second option then maybe we'll be able to listen to boy music in the car too.


Blogger Martasmimi said...

Girl music is dance music...
.....all the old Disco music (no hurling now). She demands this when she is with me in the car....
She likes Stevie Nicks (not Disco)and Landslide is a big favorite,
she sings along with Stevie as if she knows all the words.
Yeah, I vowed I would never buy a Barbie or anything that has purple feathers and hot pink glitter but just take Princess Marta shopping and see what you bring home that in your wildest dreams you couldn't have imagined opening up your wallet for.
So it would would be nice to have more princesses in the Castle a
Lula...or Lou (joke) will do. A boy to mix up your "pink glitter) world

3:01 PM  

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